And by some means, the spouses of Twitter proceed to search out humor within the trivialities of married life – and sum it up completely in not more than 280 characters.
You are reading: 25 Of The Funniest Tweets About Married Life
Each different week, we spherical up the funniest marriage tweets of the earlier 14 days. Learn on for 25 new relatable ones that can have you ever laughing in settlement.
My husband went to mattress early and stated I may watch the following episode of our present with out him and wow what a form and selfless man who places others earlier than himself and…I’m now realizing that jerk watched that episode with out me.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 2, 2022
my husband: so I meant to let you know [runs sink] [clashes plates while emptying dishwasher] [walks into the bathroom and closes the door] [comes back into the kitchen] what do you suppose?
— mother mother mother mother mother (@notmythirdrodeo) August 9, 2022
I by accident used my cat’s shampoo, and now my spouse takes photos of me each quarter-hour.
— John to the World 🌎 (@JohnJokewriter) August 13, 2022
“Honey, the place’s my good crocs?” and different shit I by no means imagined myself saying.
— Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 (@mahnamematt) August 13, 2022
My husband simply requested me within the kindest voice if I wished some water, and I stated, “, I might love some water?” And I rotated and he was carrying the canine’s water bowl to her….(Reader, he was not asking me if I wished water.)
— Ada Limón (@adalimon) August 9, 2022
Shocked my spouse with potato chips. She didn’t ask for it, the bag simply fell on her when she opened the cupboard.
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) August 14, 2022
Spouse cracks open her eye ever so barely at 6am
Me: what we thinkin for dinner?! We have now these pork chops within the freezer or I may make soup. I’d by no means flip down pizza both haha
— Pual Chikmo (@PualChikmo) August 14, 2022
Husband: “You’re all the time up so late; what do you DO whereas I am sleeping?”
*flashes to lip-syncing Spice Woman songs in toilet mirror, shoveling in Doritos like I’m carrying a feedbag, ugly-crying within the bathe*
Me: “….principally learn, actually.”
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) August 13, 2022
My spouse began loading the dishwasher a distinct method, and I’m not fairly certain easy methods to proceed right here.
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) August 9, 2022
I like touring with my husband as a result of it offers us a possibility to bicker in new and unique places.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) August 8, 2022
We have been at dinner with buddies tonight and my husband by accident revealed the ending of an previous e-book and he stated “omg! I’m so sorry! However actually it is a Dumbledore dies scenario and you need to have recognized this by now.”
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) August 6, 2022
i used to be simply operating round frantically like “the place’s my tote bag, have you ever seen my tote bag?!” and my husband was like idk what the hell is a tote bag and I couldn’t consider easy methods to describe it aside from, “, it’s like a handbag! however for lesbians”
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) August 7, 2022
Waiter: How do you want your steak, sir?
Sir: Like successful an argument with my spouse.
Waiter: Uncommon it’s.
— mariana Z🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 (@mariana057) August 3, 2022
Simply instructed my sleeping husband I misplaced two lbs, to which he replied, together with his eyes nonetheless closed, “I’ll provide help to discover them. We’ll look later”
— Julie (The Texan Minnesotan) (@juliepafoofnic) August 9, 2022
My husband actually had the audacity to enter the workplace and go away me right here with these children all day smh
— Mother Meh Dearest🤦🏼♀️ (@mommeh_dearest) August 4, 2022
Husbands, cease opening packages from Amazon – ignorance is bliss keep in mind??
— Anna (@AnnaDoesntWant2) August 14, 2022
I do not know what it is advisable find out about me moreover the truth that my husband and son applaud once I do not journey on the steps
— (((Princess of Whales))) (@PrincesaBallena) August 5, 2022
My husband spends extra time watching movies about easy methods to play a selected online game than enjoying the precise sport.
— Benjamin Siemon (@BenjaminJS) August 14, 2022
As my husband gazes on the recent strawberries on the counter, I do know precisely what he’s pondering.
He’s questioning what they might style like wrapped in bacon.
— Darla (@ddsmidt) August 8, 2022
Typically I prefer to mess with my husband and say issues like “Honey, please hand me a waffle knife” and watch him panic.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) August 3, 2022
I like to talk to my legal professional please.
Simply inform me which footwear look higher please.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) August 2, 2022
Husband has an appointment at 10:10. He acquired within the bathe at 9:54. For this reason I’ve anxiousness
— meghan (@deloisivete) August 4, 2022
My son was loudly barking like a canine within the different room and I instructed my husband to go deal with it and now there’s 2 folks loudly barking like canines.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 4, 2022