QMy daughter is an incredible little one — each mum or dad’s dream. She’s type, good, enjoyable, easygoing, formidable and adventurous. She will get nice grades in class, does her homework willingly, helps out round the home. She’s additionally a enjoyable and caring massive sister to her two youthful siblings.
This little one has actually by no means brought on me any issues. So, think about my shock when a buddy referred to as as much as discuss to me about my daughter’s TikTok account. I didn’t even know she had an account, so I had by no means seen any of her posts.
To be clear, we had been fairly strict when she first obtained her cellphone about what apps she may and couldn’t use, however as I discussed, she by no means gave me any issues, so we loosened our restrictions.
Whereas on the cellphone with this buddy (fortunately, somebody I belief utterly), I scrolled via her account and was horrified! She had mini movies of her dancing extraordinarily provocatively with a lot older guys I’ve by no means seen earlier than; smoking medication out of varied varieties of pipes; and pole dancing with little or no garments on her physique.
Did I point out that she’s solely 19, and normally seems to be a lot youthful in dishevelled sweatpants, a ponytail, and glasses? What has occurred to my little lady???
Mother within the Darkish
AThat may be a stunning factor to have occurred. I think about by now that you just’ve mentioned all of this along with your companion. And I additionally think about that your knee-jerk response has been to get offended along with your daughter. That’s regular.
Now take a breath.
Sit down along with your daughter and discover out why she’s posting all of those movies of herself, particularly since they’re so provocative and out of the strange for her character. She’ll undoubtedly shock you along with her reply, however give her the possibility to talk.
Possibly the Good-Woman persona that she performed so completely at house felt suffocating to her. As a substitute of adjusting and perhaps disappointing you, she created an area the place she may go all out.
Collectively you may assist her discover a blissful medium — a protected area the place she will be the particular person she desires to be, which appears like a mix of the right little lady and the outrageous vixen.
Reader’s CommentaryConcerning the dad/husband whose spouse doesn’t like their new pet (Oct. 17):
“I used to be the husband who didn’t desire a canine. I made it very clear that if the canine comes, I’d go away. We obtained a cat.
“For my part, Pet Love has now positioned their marriage in a really harmful state of affairs. What else will he now ‘pressure’ upon his spouse? What’ll occur now if his spouse desires one thing he doesn’t?
“And sadly, the youngsters have additionally ‘discovered’ that persistence pays off. Wait till they attain mid-teens.”
FEEDBACKConcerning the brother who’s stopped caring about his look (Oct. 12):
Reader No. 1“I do know that I could also be an alarmist, however as I learn this letter, I instantly considered my cousin. He began arriving at household events trying fairly not like his normal self. He had at all times been properly groomed however now can be unshaven, unwashed and poorly dressed. He gave the impression to be utterly unaware of his poor hygiene.
“These had been the primary indicators of the dementia which has now consumed his life.
“Maybe a visit to the household physician can be so as.”
LisiOh no! That didn’t happen to me once I learn the letter. I’m sorry to your cousin and I hope that’s not the case for the letter-writer’s brother, however it’s one thing to consider.
Reader No. 2“The brother is clearly depressed and wishes assist to get out of the funk that COVID brought on.
“I take pleasure in your column.”
LisiYou, too, could also be proper. And thanks.
QMy boyfriend is mendacity to me. I do know he’s mendacity and he is aware of I do know. So why is he nonetheless mendacity? It’s ridiculous!
Fact Shines By
AYou haven’t stated what he’s mendacity about, which truly issues. For instance, if he’s mendacity about the place he spends his evenings and he’s truly dishonest, then you should confront him and type out your relationship.
If he’s mendacity about his work, when he’s been fired, then you should tread softer as a result of he’s most likely having emotions of low shallowness. So don’t go after him. Simply quietly point out that you’re conscious of his state of affairs and also you’d like to speak about it.
If he’s mendacity about what he did yesterday and you understand he was searching for a present for you, let it go! If he is aware of you understand, don’t feign shock, however don’t bug him about it both.